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Musings of an Otaku

And Her Works

5/16/08 12:42 am

Ok, that last post was lie. I just can't find a place where I want to cut off and update.  I'm either going to expand my updates to once a week or every day. The only problem is the daily updates would most likely be on a short side that would drive most everyone crazy....

Ah, screw it! I'll just write and see where my evil muse tells me to stop.

Zel no Miko: Cliffhangers are good for the soul.

5/15/08 01:27 pm

Ok, I was really hoping to have an update much sooner, but it looks like that it's not working out like I hope. I have about five something pages and they just keep on flowing. I blame it on the fact that I like to get inside of EVERYONE's head. Currently in middle of the fight scene, and just switched from Hitomi to Van. I'm not really happy with how it is turning out, but I do have difficulties writing these sort of scenes.

Another page finished.

I have no idea how many pages it's going to take. Since it's taking so long I've decided to just go ahead and finish everything that I had originally planned for the chapter.

This is my problem! I can never keep with short, constant updates. Even short flashbacks take longer then intended. I wouldn't be surprised if this chapter ends up being at least ten pages. *sigh*

So tired....


I really wish I was having such a hard time with this chapter. I'll definately update by tomorrow. Of course, it doesn't help that my muses have gone ahead and insisted that I write a fanfiction for Wanted. T.T

They don't leave me alone.

I swear! There will be some sort of update before I go to be tonight! And then I will try to update the rest of it tomorrow.

Question: does anyone know how to go about doing that thing where you only let people who are 21 and over read certain sections? I can't really remember what it's called. I'm going to need to do it for the Wanted one-shot. Closest I've ever gotten to writing a lemon and it doesn't help that I get giggly and red when I write it. ><

5/13/08 07:41 pm - Update on The King's Reluctant Lover

Was really hoping to have the next part up by now. ><

Took a little longer then expected. Blame it on Merle. She just won't be quiet and Naria and Eriya aren't helping. I'll try to have something up tonight. It's just a matter of a fight scene and some plotting.

I really need to get back to my novel.

5/8/08 01:20 am

Well, at this point it looks like I won't beupdating for a bit. I am having seriously a;;ergy issues and constant watery eyes make updating very diffiuclt.

Hope for something soon.

5/7/08 12:20 am - Why Do Things Get Worse Before They Get Better?

Ok, this is just a quick little upade for the people who come here (if anyone does) to check out on the status of fic updates. The interview which was supossed to make my world a little brighter didn't go so well. Damn debitors had to call in the middle, and of course Cingular phones don't have a silent mode that is actually silent. Under 20 minutes is never a good sign.

So between today and yesterday I have been dealing with depression issues. Sometimes working on fics helps, but I've been having trouble with motivation. I porbably won't have something out tonight although I am trying very hard to. There's a fair amount of action in this chapter, although I may just update the first scene here before I go to bed so that there is something.

Sorry, but until I have some form of a steady job things are going to be difficult and it will be hard to contantly update.

Remember, reviews always help.

5/5/08 07:26 pm - Still Hanging on the Precipice...

I really love how impossible it is to find a job. I just want a part time job. Ok, well actually I want a full time job, but I could make do with a part time. Why the hell is it so impossible. I have fuckin' degree! Was the past seven years nothing but a waste.

What's the point of me even existing?

I can't get a job. I have a hard time motivating myself to work on that novel, and I can't get any volunteer work at the hospital!

It's pathetic! I'm going to be 25 and I still live at home. I just want a job so that I can move the hell out!

I'm having a hard enough time with the depression as it is.

........

Ok, time to go uber ansty in my fic. If someone is in a worse situation then me I might feel a little better. Definately need to rewatch Ouran tonight or read Hana-Kimi before I feel better. 

5/5/08 06:49 pm - To Corporate Godiva: Bite Me

Dear Jim Goldman - CEO of Godiva,

Why is it that, if your company prides itself on superior customer service, that you continue to royally fuck with the customer care representatives of Old Saybrook, CT who have to deal with such complete bull shit from Godiva's customers. Customer who, not surprisingly, have difficulties using the brains that were given to them.

We don't care about the damn benefits package. All we want are a set amount of hours that can be guaranteed.  For the people who come back season after season it shouldn't be too much to ask. Especially considering the ways you love to royally fuck us over. Especially with standard shipping around Christmas. Standard shipping is 5-7 business days for a fucking reason. Why do you think we have to give so many damn refunds because the morons at GSI can't get the stuff sent out?

Is it too much to ask you and your fucking staff to go and buy a damn brain?



Oh, and Brenda? You are not amusing. Go to the fuckin' store already you stupid bitch.

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4/24/08 10:37 pm - Borders Is Evil

Gagh! So, so evil! They had to give me thaat coupon so that I would have to by all the volumes of Meru Puri they have! They only had three and of course the third one had to end on a cliffhanger!!!!

Thank onemanga for give me what I needed.

Kyaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Hopefully, I'll be able to get an update for the King's Reluctant Lover tomorrow. I've actually been working a bit, and I was having difficulty getting Van and Hitomi to meet.

Saw the movie 21 today. I really enjoyed it. Choi was so bishie! I <3 Asian Men.!!

Well, I hear Joe is single again. I really would like to get together with him.....too bad I haven't seen him in ages. ><

Ugh, I am babling. Head hurts.

3/28/08 08:23 am - Writing Challenge #3

Sci's Writing Challange #3

Fandom: Black Jewels Trilogy

Word Count: 

Warning: I have never actually looked at any of the Black Jewels fandom so I'm sorry if this violates any of the reqs for this challenge. This one has had me stumped and even though I did have some ideas for Pretear and Chrno Crusade the plot bunnies for this one have been screaming at me. Probably will do a short one shot of the Chrno Crusade one though. Some of the names and stuff probably aren't spelt right which I blame solely on the fact that I am writing this at work and do not have the book with me.

Summary: After 500 years Daemonar finally returns home to Kaeleer...

Jewel Rank (from lightest to darkest):

Remnants of the Heart

 Daemonar had to lift his hand up to block the bright sunlight as he emerged from the Dark Gate and onto the soft soil of his birth. It had been centuries since he had last gone through the Dark Gate to Terreille, to escape from a life that had become suffocating. Feeling the cool wind against his tanned skin felt so good, that he almost wondered why he had ever left Kaeleer. Everything here was so much sweeter, the stale psychic scent of decay of Terreille was completely absent from here. There were still people that were trying to get into Kaeleer, trying to escape the taint of Dorothea and Hekatah that still stained the land. 

When he had first gone to Terreille, despite his mother's warning, the ravaged that had been the result of the greed of those two red- jewelled priestesses had horrified him. The fearful looks that many witches had given him had hurt. He had also finally understood why his mother would never talk about her family and why he was never shown to his maternal grandfather. 

Protect and Serve. The duties of the Blood males that had been ingrained into him were nothing but mockeries in Terreille. The scent of fear that came from the light-jewelled females-- and there were so many, too many-- honed the temper that he had inherited from his father, the great Warlord Prince of Ebon Rih, and had been the reason that he had defied his parents and spent the last five centuries in the land that they had been so desperate to get away from.

He didn't remember much on the day that Aunt Janelle had unleashed the full power of her Ebony jewells on all of the Blood of the three Realms. He had been young, barely old enough to start attending the Eyrien hunting camp that Hallevar had started in Ebon Rih. What he did remember was the fear when the Eyrien warrior had come to their eyrie with a glazed look in his eyes and had taken him and his mother to Dorothea. While in Kaeleer he had never fully understood the consequences of the witchstorm that had encased the Realms. Only those who had come in contact with the taint from Little Terreille had been destroyed. It hadn't affected anyone that he knew. 

Terreille had been utterly devistated.

Entire cities had been turned into ghost towns. Some of the populations of the island Territories, like Challiot, had been reduced to only a handfull, all of them unable to do much besides basic Craft. Those were the lucky territories. They were some, especially the ones close to Dragea, Hayll's capitol, were the only Blood that existed were the half-breeds and the kindred. It was a testament to just how far the corruption of Hayll's High Priestess had spread.

By the time Daemonar had been old enough to travel through the gates, the short lived races that had existed in Terreille when Aunt Jaenelle was growing up no longer existed. New races had taken their place, and the long-lived race of Hayllians were endangered. The devastion of the land and the fear that lurked in the survivors had gnawed at his heart until he couldn't stand it anymore. Taking the few items that were precious to him, the young Eyrien warrior left behind all that he loved so that he could help the less fortunate rebuild their lives. Any contact that he had with his family came through messages that he would retrieve during the yearly visits to the Keep. Not once did he write back. The only time he returned to Kaeleer was for Aunt Jaenelle and Uncle Daemon's funeral. His favorite aunt had lived to a ripe old age, 130 years, unheard of for her people. She died in comfort and among loved ones, her husband following shortly after. 

His father was the only only one who had been unsurprised that Daemon had died much earlier then was expected of the Hayllians. After all, Lucivar said, Daemon always said that he was born to be Witch's lover. When she died, so did his reason for living. After the small ceremony that consisted only of what had once been the First Circle of the Dark Court and their families Daemonar had kissed his mother goodbye, nodded to his father and stepped through the Dark Gate once more. 

Now, he was finally home. He had done what he could in Terreille, given the people hope and protected the dark-jewelled Queens that were born and helped them take their places in the Provincal and Territorial Courts. It was up to those women to heal the land and help their people find the strength to restore Terreille to the glory and wealth it had known before Hekatah and Dorothea. 

Now it was his turn to find his way. It was his turn to mend the broken bonds of family and discover how much this Kaeleer had changed from the one that he remembered.

Unfurling his dark membranous wings, he caught the Green Wind and headed towards the Hall.

*****

Daemonar could only stare in disbelief. Panic along with a tiny slice of fear welled up in him as he stared at the crumbled and rotten remains of SaDiablo Hall. He had to bite his check to stop himself from turning toward Ebon Askavi. What happened if he went to Ebon Rih? Would find nothing but dusty remains of the eyrie that he had grown up in? Where his mother and father....

No, he couldn't afford to think these thoughts. The Hall hadn't been abandoned there was still life here. He could detect the psychic scents of the kindred. The Scelts, the unicorns, wolves, and tigers. He was quite positive that there was even an Arcerian cat or two prowling behing the crumbling wall of what had been the Hall's kitchen. Taking a deep breath, observant for any type of traps that the kindred would lay for unwelcome guests Daemonar walked closer to the Hall, trying to see it through the haze of panic. 

*Prince.* A soft, hesitant voice brushed against his mind. Uncertain, but not scared or alarmed.

He clung to the concentration that was required to make that mental side step to speak to the kindred. He had always had a harder time then others doing it, and the scant amount of contact that he had with the kindred in Terreille had made him rusty. It was easy to push back the panic if he concentrated on it.

*Lady.* He kept his tone respectful, falling back on Protocol to help hide his fear. A fear that was completely unwarrented. After all he had been in contact with Grandpa Saetan since the Guardian had declared the Keep as his home. Since his yearly visits had always been fairly routine he usually ended up spending some time with his grandfather over a glass of yarbarah. Wouldn't he have mentioned it if something had gone terribly wrong?

Unless, he wanted to teach Daemonar a lesson for abandoning  everyone...

*Prince Daemonar?* The clip, clop of delicate hooves crunching over the ruined gravel of the Hall's path, helped to dull the fine edge of panic, and the way the voice was sounding less hesitant and more like a Queen demanding attention helped keep the storm of emotions at bay just a bit longer. *You are Prince Daemonar, kin to the High Lord, yes?*

*Prince Lucivar is my fath--sire, Lady...* He trailed off hopping she would supply a name-- after all names was something that were more common for humans, unless this Queen had been bequethed one by a kindred Priestess-- and hoping that he looked respectful enough. His experienced with the kindred had never moved beyond the lower ranked females and males. Despite Protocol and having spent the past centuries around high ranking witches, he wasn't quite sure how to deal with her.

*I am Luna. My great, great grandsire was a foal to Lady Moonshadow.*

Despite himself Daemonar's throat tightened.

3/2/08 12:46 pm

Title: Mountain Lion

Challange #2: Words, words, words

Length: 856

Source: One of the many moments out of the life of Kaiyla, one of the main characters out of a two part series. This should be book 2: The Hunted. We'll see if I ever get book one finished....

Emotion: Unease and stalling.


Writing Challenge #2 )

2/23/08 08:23 pm - OMG! A Fic Blurb!

This quick piece was originally for the writing group started by Scithian File. The first exercise was to do the voice of an inanimate object and I jumped at the chance to give voice to Venya's (the original counterpart to Kikyou in DGL) swords. I never got to post it because I didn't see it until after the date so I couldn't post it. I'm hoping that they'll give us more time for the next exercise.

For those of you who actually read this - enjoy!


Mithoridin's Lament - Venya's Blade )


This is proof that I am writing again, I'm just having difficulties finding motivation. Inspiration and plot bunnies are rapid and abound. It's that pesky motivation that is hard to come by when you are unemployed and depressed.

Hopefully I'll be able to do some volunteer work at L&M. It would be a great help for getting out of the house part of my depression.

2/21/08 06:01 pm - Out of Gas

I just don't no how much longer that I'll be able to put up with this farce called life right now. I don't want much, just a job so that I can actually pay for bills and not have to worry about asking my parents for money anymore. Something that would actually let me to start putting money into savings so that I can put a couple of grand in the bank so that I can start job hunting out of state and getting ready to move.

I had two job interviews yesterday and both were failures.

What's the point anymore?

At least that's how I feel right now.....

Fortunately, Anime Boston is in a couple of weeks and the money that I got from graduation will be enough. Things wouldn't be so bad if I actually knew people that lived nearby so that I would be able to get out of the house instead of having no choice but to do anything but to watch anime and stay at home.

The worse part is that this us the perfect time for me to get more fanfiction out and write a couple of chapters for my book, but I just don't have the damn motivation!

ARGH!

If I could just up a couple of grand then I could move out and up to New Hampshire and not have to worry money.

................

*sigh* If I could just find a legit work at home program then things would definately start looking up.

1/30/08 11:48 pm - Curse You Link!

I have to say that the Wind Waker is probably one of the most frustrating video games that I have played, and if it weren't for the fact that I am addicted to Phantom Hourglass I would just say futz it.

Come on, damn it! You are suppossed to run, I'm tilting the damn stick! Move damn you!

Actually the fact that it's a Legend of Zelda game will never let me get rid of it...that and the fact that I can be stubbornly as hell with stuff I'm obsessed with.

I recently came across a trailer for the fan movie Hero of Time, and have been lurking in the forum section for Legends and Adventures for info. I just spent a bunch of time reading a thread that brought up contraversal topic on whether or not the movie is a scam considering there is still not a release or update. The lost post was by the composer of the movie with a link to his account that has some of the music available for listening and this music is gorgeous. I highly recommend going there and listening to the music that has LOZ in the title. Even if you aren't really familiar with the franchise. It's just really pretty music.

http://setu-firestorm.newgrounds.com/audio/

There should be a link to his my space account so that if you want you can take a peak at the trailer.

I really enjoy my temp job right now, but I'm having second thoughts about the sub teacher thing. Completely my father's fault. I think I'll try doing it one day, and if it's hell then no harm done. My current assignment is throught Accountemps and is a temp to hire job for a woman's substance abuse counseling clinic. It's technically a billing position, even if I don't have any usernames or passwords or have been shown how to do the billing stuff. Right now, I'm just an office assistant, but it's good experience. It's a small office, and all the women that I work with are great. I'm usually out of stuff do by 1pm, so if it gives me some time to work on some fanfics. I've started really getting back into my inu fics, even if it's a new one that I've only posted pieces of here. I'm going to try really hard to get enough work done on Choices (formerly MSHL) so that I can post on FFN within the next month or so. I really wish I had an Alphasmart. I would be able to get so much more writing done.

I should probably go to bed soon so that I can get up ....later this morning... with enough time to do laundry. The only thing that sucks about working from 10-2 is the fact that it's only 20 hours a week. ><

1/27/08 10:01 pm - In Need of a Serious Life

I have gone on a serious Zelda-fest lately. Been playing 1,2,3,4...6.....six Zelda games at the same time. Now I've also started dabbling in the fanfiction and getting really into it. The Inuyasha fics I have yet to get back to are weeping in the small abandoned corner of my hard drive.  I am currently watching the animated tv series.

In the meantime I am impatiently awaiting for volume 25 of Basara to arrive so that I can finally finish reading the series.

As far as writing goes, I hope to have an update of some sorts next Sunday. I'm going to start actually forcing myself to write to get the creative juices flowing.

1/16/08 05:49 pm - DGL

Prologue )


Ok, I got the rewrite for the prologue finished a couple of days ago and now I'm finally posting it.

I swear I'll get back to posting on Sunday. I mean it this time.....

after it's not like I have a job....or a life.

Gagh! I'm getting depressed again.

1/16/08 05:37 pm

Joss does creepy good.


.........

I really was hoping to never encounter another anime that ended like Spiral, but damnit then I got into Loveless. ><

From the point of view of a writer it's good. No ending, no closure, but on the other hand WTF?!?!?!!!

I want more! Loveless is so good.


Although not enough to hunt for fanfiction. I't's good, but I don't obsess over it like I do with Ouran and Inuyasha and others.


What the hell is with that ending?!

.....................

Well, I got a call for a job interview for a full time temp to perm data entry job. There is also a receptionist temp job until November that starts in Febuary that I may get. Now I just need to hold and see if I get the library assistant job.

I swear it's not doing a damn thing for my depression. I'm getting to the point where I'm near tears and there is no one for me to talk to. I need to get over it, and the lack of job really isn't helping. I hope I can get over it soon.

Think positive! Positive!

.....not really helping.


--------------

Now for a completely random:

Kyaaa!!! I love it when Giles sings!

1/14/08 11:50 pm

So, I am surfing imdb.com for info on some minor actors on Buffy when I stumble across James Marsters filmography. O.o He's going to be Piccolo in the Dragon Ball movie?! Sugoi!

Currently, watching Loveless and damn, that series is just pulling me in. The music and animation is really beautiful. It's amusing and everyone has cat ears. At least everyone who - and I'm taking a guess - is still a virgin. That's my guess anyways.

1/13/08 08:18 pm - Takanori-sama!?

Ok, so watching the third economy box of Ruro Ken, and color me shocked when I saw the credits and that Takanori (TM Revolution) did a voice for a minor villian.


Didn't know he did voices. O.o

1/12/08 01:48 am - Looking at the Glass as Half Full - Courtesy of RobertHalf

Well, a call from AccountTemps, a division from RobertHalf, sure lifted up my spirits today when I finished my last day at work until Febuary 4th. I have to go to their office in New Haven on Tuesday, but the job they would like me to do is in New London. I still have to meet with one of the accounting reps to make sure I can do what the client wants on Excel and it's only data entry, but it sounds like the pay is good. It sounds like it might be better then Godiva which is $10.50 per hour.

Things are starting to look up just a little bit and it has pulled me out of my depression and has even started to help get the creative juices flowing. Although I'm still in a rut in regards to getting things running again with my fanfiction (curse the new plot bunnies!), I'm getting back into writing the original version of DGL. My problem before is that I was trying to do it from the same version as the fanfiction and start with King Leonard's death. I decided to summarize that and Javeska's life growing up into a once upon a time thing which is turning out rather nicely.

I've also decided to make the new husband be a little better then Naraku and not objectify Javeska (who is the original version of Kagome) as much. I like the thought of him seeing her as an idea rather then a possession, and not quite understanding why she cries and has desires.

Now I'm getting excited again, like I normally am when I first start a story.

I'm going to post what I've rewritten on Sunday, and try to start writing on more regular basis and updating. A special shout out to [info]seducedbydreams for critiquing the original DGL and giving me feedback and a thanks to "Buffy" & "Angel" for the inspiration.
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1/7/08 04:47 pm - Ugh...

Well, lucky, lucky me. I've been dealing with a sickness/flu of some sort since Thursday. Oh what fun. This marks my third day, and last, day off from work.

Back to four days of the salt mines and then I join the ranks of unemployment. *sigh*

I put my name in for subistuting in Waterford as well as the Friendship school, but we'll see what comes of it. If I get it will be $80 a day. I saw that Game Stop is hiring again so I'm for retail again, because i desperately need some cash. I found a free lancing website so starting next week I'm going to go away from creative writing for a bit and do some articles that will earn me cash. If anyone knows of some legit work at home websites it will be greatly appreciated.

My creative writing has been going really crappy lately anyway. I've been dealing with some serious depression issues which have a large part to do with no job.....

and that I'm 24......and I still live at home........

So depressing.

So lately, I've been taking a moment to look at my works and I don't like what I see.

Agh! I'm such a mess.
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