jav_chan ([info]jav_chan) wrote,
@ 2008-02-23 20:23:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:dgl, fiction, update

OMG! A Fic Blurb!
This quick piece was originally for the writing group started by Scithian File. The first exercise was to do the voice of an inanimate object and I jumped at the chance to give voice to Venya's (the original counterpart to Kikyou in DGL) swords. I never got to post it because I didn't see it until after the date so I couldn't post it. I'm hoping that they'll give us more time for the next exercise.

For those of you who actually read this - enjoy!


I wonder if she even bothered to place hand on my hilt if I would be thrumming with anger. I believe that’s human word for it…or is it jealousy? The words and their meanings all blur and become this thing, emotions that I’m not supposed to feel. How can cold steel have feelings?

The little voices above me mock me for my pain. How would they know? The four damned, petty, woe-is-me dragons of the Zodiac Blade.

They don’t know what its like. Before this pitiful woman that claimed me as her own I had a purpose. My tip would break through the flesh and the blood would run hot. It would stain me crimson as I tore through the flesh when the Great One wielded me. The Witch fears what I can do, the need for that crimson liquid that can scald with its purity. The pathetic, simpering dragons of the Zodiac Blade get blood crusted under their silver scales, bickering at how unclean and oh, won’t she hurry up and round up the polish and the water so they will gleam like the palace silver.

We are swords. We do not exist to be pretty pieces for display.

Forged from the flame we were. The flame that consumes and destroys. We exist to cut through bone, and bring pain. We exist for to execute justice for the strong who believe themselves to be right. We exist to defend and smite the weak. If we had mouths we would drink deeply the crimson source of life. We would drink all that a being could offer and still never be sated.

I have drunk and nearly drowned in blood when the Great One used me to cut through the legions of her enemies. I have been crusted and stained with the crimson liquid. It has flood ever inch of my steel form and I have yet to come close to having that thirst sated.

I know it will never come, and the stupid Witch does not do a damn thing to ease my frustration.

It’s times like this when I curse the smith that reforged me for that pathetic woman.



This is proof that I am writing again, I'm just having difficulties finding motivation. Inspiration and plot bunnies are rapid and abound. It's that pesky motivation that is hard to come by when you are unemployed and depressed.

Hopefully I'll be able to do some volunteer work at L&M. It would be a great help for getting out of the house part of my depression.


(Post a new comment)


[info]sciathan_file
2008-02-24 02:36 am UTC (link)
Even though you missed the posting (the second challenge is due tomorrow, but there is a revision period for a week afterward that you are also welcome to post before and, for future notice, challenges always stay at the top of my journal until the day that they are due).

I think some of your language and imagery in here is particularly good. My favorite line is :If we had mouths we would drink deeply the crimson source of life. Such a lovely image. Also the fact that you call blood "crimson liquid" is lovely and to the point of the prompt. Also, the recognition that We are swords. We do not exist to be pretty pieces for display. is nice, especially with the paragraph that follows (reminds me a bit of Tolkien, actually). The voice you've established is proud and vain and that comes across wonderfully.

Some things you might expand upon. Everyone got my lecture about being safe - here I think your subject is daring, but I'm going to encourage you to take stylistic risks from here on out. And, in working with a sword you can think along several additional avenues - swords cut people, yes, but the whole portion of their "bodies" is also hurtled against people (and that must hurt), they also spend a lot of time in dark constrained sheaths waiting for their battles.

Nicely done, however, the want of blood for the sword to literally drink is a creepy and thoroughly satisfying image!

^_^

(Reply to this)


Create an Account
Forgot your login?
Login w/ OpenID
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…